What's wrong with me?

Firstly, I am in UK now. It's natural to write and think in English right? And it's gotta easy to get in this blog without any proxy site.
I don't know what is wrong with me. Something went wrong though everything here appears so fine and thereotically it should be fine. Just I am no longer the person whom I am famarliar with and not expecting to. There is a bloody voice secretly in mind whispering, I am not good at this. And cowardly, I just let it be and do nothing. Then I got more introvent, as thet described. And more dependent on someone else.
Something bizzare is happening, when I arrived here, everthing was new. But he was right there to help us figure out. Everyday, every momet we got disppointed, and sometimes with an unreasonbale childidsh negative emotions. He just took them away, all. Then I felt lost. He is a friend of my friend, he is not directly my friend, intricately. It is strange to talk about this however there is something you can not tell but feel. You cannot get too close to him. IT IS RISKY.
AND I AM ON MY OWN. DEAR THAT IN MIND.

The Second One

Here comes the second post of my blog. So LATE. For a thousand time I should be ashamed of myself. Why could I say some flowery words without doing them? There are only 19 days left. My chronic holiday, again, comes to an end without any conspicuous fruition, or perhaps I can count the improvement of my facial condition in (But I haven't met any friends recent days upon whom can I know the 'truth.')
I can't foresee the days in UK and am loathsome to. I want to struggle for my future. And I am still expecting something.
Really boring days, nothing special to say..

There we go

The whole thing is I decided to blog in ENGLISH. I used to remind myself that blogging can keep me thinkin but laziness is always the damn enemy. Im never fed up with 'peeping'others' blogs and see what's goin on in their mind that you can never spot unless they reveal to you willingly. Or just they're whispering to themselves and in the same time they wanna be overheard. This morning I came across Stefanie's blog. She writes in perfectly good English. Having got inspired by her, I embarked on English blogging. Being an English major student, I am unavoidly regarded as someone speaking native English. The truth is disappointing, I am sorry to admit and be with it. I hate myself being a passive person waiting things to change, to better off. Here comes the turning point!! Stefanie, you gotta be my teacher. Ive already learned a lot from you: )I carefully took notes.

And Stefanie was quite right, throw a concert to refresh the memory. Before going to the concert, I hadn't listened to her songs for quite a long time although she is still my favourite pop singer. Somewhere in my heart I thought it was time to say goodbye to Yanzi and my before-20 youth in SH. Nevetheless, my love for Yanzi was re-triggered after singing together with her and tens of thousands of people. Her voice can still soothe me and there deeply help to find a self that I am famaliar with.

As for my NEVER-ENDing topic, it's just like taking the traditional Chinese medcine. You know it would taste bitter that you can never get accustomed to. But tragically you stil have to take it all for sure, in hope for sweet candies coming after to magically get rid of the fucking badness. I mean his cool words are always heart wrenching. But a stubborn girl is stubbronly in grip of spring, of the sparkling fairy-tale-like blissful endings (or maybe beginnings).

Well, well, well, if blogging can keep me thinking then blogging in English can keep me thinking calmly, rationally and differently, HOPEFULLY AH...